The worst thing - I didn't really know what I wished.
I liked yoga life style and at the same time I dreamed to fall in love with a normal guy. I couldn't decide what I wanted and what I did? Ran away. Ran away from everything habitual.They say: 'You can't run from yourself'. I say'You can. For a while.
I thought it was my fault. Partly it really was. One day I realized that maybe I was looking for them in a wrong place. Yeah, sometimes I met good people which helped me to be open.I was quite shy but when someone open and kind to you it's not so difficult to answer.Unfortunately I couldn't find people with enough free mind so I went to the road. It was my dream. Travelling.I was sure I'd find amazing friends on the road. And I did. But that time I was alone. I was 21. I had an old bike, 100$ in my pocket and a big hope in my heart.
I had to die before the start. If you can see what I'm talking about. My past, personality, everyday life... I was ready to the suicide in any variant and this one was the wisest. I didn't truely understand what it was but I was clever enough to understand that I was too stupid for life.
It wasn't the best decision to leave my family, to leave him. I knew it would hurt them too much. Maybe I'd better stayed on that level and just did my best but I was afraid that then I'd hurt them even more 'cause 'my best' in that period was too little. Anyway, I did what I did.
Слепой мужчина осторожно вошел в бар. "Добрый вечер"..В тот момент вечер по-настоящему стал добрым. Он взял гитару и запел. Мне давно не было так спокойно. Я чувствовала себя защищенной, расслабленной. Счастливой. Даже сейчас ему улыбаюсь.Люди умеют дарить тепло и любовь. Одним своим присутствием.